I Think He's Mad at Me!

When Lee & I were finally allowed to go see Cory in the PICU, all we could hear before we rounded the corner to his bed was the poor fellow sounding really really mad. I took this as a good sign. He looked a little puffy around his neck area, but other than that he looked pretty good. Not nearly as many wires and IV’s as last time. I was ready to see him as he was when he got out of surgery the first time with thousands of wires on him, so it was a pleasant surprise to see him looking more comfortable. Cory was kicking his legs and trying to move. Boy oh boy was he mad though. The doctor told us that he likely had a very bad headache due to the different way his blood was flowing now after his surgery. I guess more blood goes to his head, so when he is reclined it really gives him a bad headache. The doctor said that the more he sits up the less his head will hurt.

It was really frustrating for me not to be able to do anything to help Cory. He was very agitated and very irritable. Every few minutes he would let out a pitiful cry and you just knew that he was in pain. It was so heartbreaking. Because he still has his drain tube in his chest I couldn’t even hold him to make him feel better. The best I could do was softly sing my off-key lullabies in his ear.

Cory was given some Tylenol and some Morphine. The Morphine didn’t seem to help him, so they switched him to Fentanyl, another type of pain killer. That seemed to work a little better. Cory was also a little ticked because he was so hungry. They didn’t want Cory to eat until four hours after his breathing tube was removed. This wouldn’t be until 4:00pm. The last time he had formula was at midnight before surgery. At 4:00am he was allowed only to have some water. I couldn’t imagine going 16 hours without food! Who am I kidding? I couldn’t imagine going three hours without food! We finally got Cory some formula at about 3:40. He was so happy! He drank it down and then fell asleep.

I was so relieved that he seemed to settle after he ate. He had gotten himself so worked up. His temperature had climbed to 39.4c. He was so hot to touch. I probably could have fried an egg on his head. The night nurse gave him a sponge bath and then put some ice washcloths on his head. This started to bring his temperature down immediately. Not quickly, but you could see the temperature falling bit by bit. By the time I left at 9:00pm his temperature was down to 38.0c. I felt better.

At about 7:00pm I noticed that Cory was looking a little more alert. He seemed to be looking at the nurses when they came to check on him, and he would look at people walking by his bed. He always seemed to be looking off to his right side. I was sitting on his left side, so I thought that I would go around to the other side of the bed where Cory could see me. I figured he would be so happy to see Mommy that he would light right up. Wrong! He always seemed to close his eyes or go back to sleep whenever I popped my face in front of his. I thought “Well, I guess he’s still really tired. Poor little guy.” But after this happened over and over again, I started to think that maybe Cory was mad at me. And as if the nurse was reading my mind, she came over and told me not to be upset, because sometimes when babies come out of surgery they tend to ignore their parents… especially Mom. I asked if she thought he thought I did this to him, to which she replied “No. But he thinks you didn’t stop it from happening to him.” She told me that this is how babies make their Mommies pay for letting them get hurt. She then told me that it sometimes happens too when babies are left behind while parents go on vacation or leave them for a period of time for other reasons. I thought “Great! Now Molly’s going to give me the cold shoulder too when we get home for leaving her at Grandma’s house. Just great!” I guess we’ll have to wait and see how that one plays out.

So to sum it all up, Cory is doing quite well. He only has his drain tube in his chest and a couple of IV’s. He has the pacemaker wires connected to his heart, but they have not had to regulate his heart with the pacemaker. We are hoping that the drain tube will come out today and that Cory will be moved up to a ward to finish his recovery.

I’ll let you know in my next posting if Cory has decided to let me back into his good graces or not. Keep your fingers crossed for me!